Tuesday, 29 September 2015

The Never Will

I was a loser back in middle school . I didn’t have many friends. I played video game so much you'd think I was possessed. I needed to play in game center since we didn’t have internet back at home. I can’t go there alone since it was far and I didn’t know how to ride a bike. You would take me there every weekend, 4AM in the morning. Your eyes were sleepy, but you didn’t complain. You would pick me up at 12, got me a nice lunch and give me a piggyback when I fell asleep in the car.

When I was in high school I was on the top 16th of Indonesian IOI national team selection. Everybody told me that I should give up - that I should pursue my study. You were the only one to give me the push. When I was in top 8 and I was announced to not be in the team, I was depressed. When the clarification was told and I was selected to be in the Indonesian IOI team I was in ecstacy. But you simply looked at me with those eyes. Those eyes which seemed to say “I never doubted you."

Back when I was an intern at Facebook the new office was just set to be made. The designer was Frank Gehry. One of the decisive point why I am here right now is that I want to take you here. Give you a walk in the building of your favorite designer. Show you around one of the best campus in Silicon Valley. Show how your good-for-nothing son is now your pride.

Yesterday out of habit, I sent you a message. A message saying that I've arrived safely at Taipei. A message that you'll never read.

There will never be a walk with you in Facebook office. I’ll never see your smile when I finally bought you a Black Jaguar of your dream. I’ll miss how you keep finding those articles about us that we never know, and boastfully share it to Facebook: “See how awesome my child has become.” I’ll miss your daily Minori photos.

Three days ago my father passed away. May his soul rest in peace, and be reunited with Eyang Poi, Eyang Bobo, Cici, Ditip, Bije, and Mumu.

We’ll live on your legacy, believing in your value: Migunaning tumraping liyan. رَحْمَةً لِلْعَالَمِين. Being a mercy for the world.